Inuyasha VS Evil Dead: Boomsticks Across Time
by IrvingZissman
Summary: Takes place after Evil Dead II. What if instead of winding up in Medeval Europe, Ash wound up in Inuyasha's Feudal Japan? It's Boomstick VS Tetsaiga! Hail to the king, baby...
1. PROLOGUE: Dead by Dawn

"You did it! By God you did it!" Ash exclaimed. This whole night had been one hellish nightmare. A night in which he had found the NECRONOMICON EX MORTES or Book of the Dead as it's translated. Written in human blood, bound in human flesh, it's said whoever holds it holds the very power of hell itself. The power to raise the dead and possibly control time and just his luck, he stumbles across it on his only vacation time for the entire year. A vacation that was supposed to be spent with his girlfriend, Linda and a cabin deep in the middle of the woods he had heard about from a friend. 

It seemed innocent enough. Some laughing, some drinks, a little piano playing then maybe if Ash played his cards right, he may even get a little loving on the side. Hell, it was worth a shot. S-Mart only gave him one weeks vacation time a year and dammit, he was going to take full advantage of it.

But then he found the recording of Professor Knowby reciting those damn incantations and all hell broke loose. Whatever the book unleashed, it claimed Linda and turned her into one of them. His right hand became infested with whatever evil the book carried. Left with no choice, Ash did the only thing he could think of...he lopped it off at the wrist with a chainsaw. Drastic, yes, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Not that any of it mattered at the moment. The evil had spread to the very forest outside the cabin, the tress sliding their branches in like the tentacles of an octopus, desperately trying to get their buds on Ash and Annie.

Annie was the daughter of Professor Knowby. She made her way to the cabin to find out why her parents mysteriously disappeared all those years ago. But now she stood in the middle of the cabin, a massive storm developing outside, having just recited the words to send all the evil the book unleashed away. Ash was beaten, bloodied and bruised. He had even as gone so far as to replaced his right hand with the very same chainsaw he used to cut it off to fight off whatever undead creature crawled his way. A sawed off double barrel shotgun hung on his back in a specially designed holster. He was ready for war and now it was over. He had lost so much, but at least this whole nightmare would come to an end.

Or so he thought.

The moans of the undead outside sent chills down Ash's spine as he hurriedly watched Annie recite the next set of words, the words to send them back to where they came from...

"Tar-tra! Kanda-estra! Barata niktu!" she loudly exclaimed and with a deafening thunder clap, a swirling vortex opened just yards outside the cabin door. A strong vacuum begin to suck everything in sight into the vortex. Pieces of the cabin, furniture, even Ash's beloved 1988 Delta Oldsmobile!

"I'm almost done!" Annie shouted over the gusting vortex. "All I have to do now is finish the spell to close it!" Ash scowled at this and hollered back "HURRY THE HELL UP, WHY DON'T YOU? FINISH THE DAMN THING!"

Holding the book high up again, Annie resumed the spell, her voice nearly drowned out by the sound of the cabin literally being torn apart piece by piece.

"Aton! Neran! Ottauugghhhhhh..."

Annie never got the chance to finish.

Her eyes rolled back into her head, a small trickle of blood dribbled out the corner of her mouth. Horrified, Ash watched as she slowly spun around revealing HIS dismembered hand, possessed by the Book of the Dead and holding a large metal spike it had jammed straight into her back.

"ANNIE!" Ash screamed but it was too late...she was gone. Another victim claimed by the Book of the Dead. The vortex made a strange howling sound, like that of a ghost being tortured for eternity in the afterlife. The hand scampered across the floor, disappearing in the flying furniture.

With a loud "CRACK!" the front door went flying off the hinges and suddenly Ash felt his feet come out from under him. The vortex was pulling HIM in! Desperate, he lunged forward and grabbed a hold a nearby counter top, grasping for all he's worth, using his chainsaw hand to anchor him steady.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, HOW DO YOU STOP IT!" he screamed, but Annie just stared back with empty, vacant eyes. His only reply came from the creaking of the counter top, before it finally snapped under the strain of the vortex. Still holding on it, Ash was sucked back to the door, the counter top stuck in the doorway. Ash hung there, his legs wiggling in the air, just feet from the vortex. Valiantly, Ash tries to use his upper body strength to pull himself to safety, but this merely adds more stress to the already fragile board and soon, it too, like everything else the book touches, cracks sending Ash head over heels to the center of the vortex.

Spinning, somersaulting, no sense of direction, Ash is chaotically hurtled into the vortex. Surrounded by it, he hears nothing, feels nothing and sees nothing. "Am I dead?" he says quietly, his voice carrying no echo what so ever. Almost as if a reply to his inquiry, he's suddenly greeted with the sensation of rushing air and before he can react, he hits the grass covered ground with a loud THUD.

Ash groans and slowly lifts himself up, dusting off. Looking around, it appears to be in mid-summer. The grass is green, the sky is deep blue and what appear to be cherry blossom trees are in full bloom. Breathing a sigh of relief, Ash concludes he must be home back in Michigan, but such was not the case. It wasn't long before Ash noticed the buildings...they weren't the usual suburban houses he had grown accustomed to in Dearborn. They were old, vintage...what was the term he was looking for? Pagodas! And the people, instead of street clothes, they were brightly colored robes wrapped around their bodies and almost all of them had jet black hair.

This was not Michigan. This was not home. This was not good.


	2. Chapter 1: Kiss Your Nerves Goodbye

Finally, one of the people spoke in a horrified voice "DEMON! A DEMON! FROM THE SKIES! He's here to kill us all!"

"Demon?" Ash countered "Whoa, whoa hey buddy! You got it all wrong, see I'm from Michigan and my girlfriend and I were..." "A DEMON!" another person screamed panicky, his eyes wide with fear. "RUN! He must be one of Naraku's minions!"

"Naraku? Who the hell is Naraku? No, no...see, I'm from MICH-AH-GAN! MICHIGAN! I'm not a demon! I'm human!" Ash declared. His words fell on deaf ears, however, as most had run off to what appeared to be a tiny village.

"Just where the hell am I..." he thought. Before Ash even had a chance to consider this question, a blur of red and silver zooms by him and before he can react at all, he was staring down a massively large sword. Curved to perfection it looked like it could cut a hair in half it was so sharp and for some reason, had white fuzzy fur towards the handle. Holding it was what Ash guessed was a man. He had on baggy red clothing, with slits near the shoulders. His hair was a weird hybrid of silver and white, which fell down to his shoulders in a thick, flowing maine, almost as if it had never been cut in his/it's life. Most ddd of all, poking through the top of the bushel of hair appeared to be...dog ears? "What the flying hell?" Ash thought. When the dog man spoke, his voice was grim and determined. Ash swore he saw fangs.

"Alright Naraku, just what the hell are you doing here?" the dog man asked. Ash tried to open his mouth to speak, but nothing game out. His throat was dry and mute with confusion. It was then Ash noticed the dog man wasn't alone. Timidly standing behind him was a girl, no older than 16, Ash guessed. She was cute for her age, dressed in a school girl outfit, her eyes large and shimmering with innocence and a bit of fear. Her hair, like the dog boys, was thick, but hers was groomed to perfection and the same shade of black as the people who had now run to the shelters of their meager houses.

Next to the girl was a man, maybe in his mid-20's. He had close cropped black hair and wore a robe of purple. He seemed to carry a golden staff of some sort. The man's eyes seem to be fixated on the woman next to him. She was beautiful, Ash thought to himself. She wore a skin tight black jumpsuit, with blood red shoulder pads. Clutched tightly in her hands appeared to be the biggest damn boomerang Ash had ever seen. "What's with these people and over sized weapons!" he thought. His studying of the group was brought to a sudden close, when the dog man pushed the sword closer to Ash's throat.

"ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!" the dog man said, his voice full of rage. "I won't let you get away this time, Naraku!"

Irritated, confused and pissed off, Ash swung the still reving chainsaw widly and smacked the obscenely large sword away from dog boy.

"Now hold on one second here! I'm not your damn Naraku! My name is Ash! Ash Williams and if you'd shut the hell up for one second we could work this out, ok?" The dog man growled and laughed sarcastically to himself "Heh, you expect me to buy that for one second Naraku? You're stupider than you look!" and almost as if in mid sentence, the dog man sprung high in the air with fantastic ease and lifted his sword high over his head, as if he was going to cut Ash in half! Acting on pure instinct, Ash rolled out of the way of the blade and in mid-motion, grabbed his trusty boomstick shotgun and with a loud BOOM fired two shells at the dog man. Quickly, the dog man blocked the shells with his sword, but he jumped back a bit, confused but a bit irritated.

"And just what the hell kind of spell was that, Naraku?" he snarled. Ash stood up and pointed the boomstick right between his eyes. It wasn't reloaded at all, but he was hoping the dog man wouldn't call his bluff. He didn't seem to know what a shotgun was and Ash was going to exploit it for his full advantage.

"For the last damn time, my name is not Naraku! It's Ashley J. Williams! I work at S-Mart for Chrisakes!"

Suddenly the young girl who had been silent this entire time spoke up. "Did you say...S-Mart?" she asked quietly. "Yeah, I did. What's it to ya?" Ash asked, still annoyed, his eyes locked on the dog man who's eyes are locked on Ash as well.

"Where are you from?" the girl timidly asked, nervous, but slightly curious. "Michigan" Ash replied. "Dearborn, to be exact. Mind telling me where the hell I'm at?" The young girl shook her head "No..that's...that's not possible!"

For the first time, the dog man took his eyes of Ash and focused them on the girl. "What's wrong, Kagome?" he asked. "What is this Mitch-I-gain?" "It's MICHIGAN, Inuyasha..." she said, not looking at Ash. "It's a place in the United States, I learned about it in school. This man...is from my time, somehow"

The dog man, his name now known to be Inuyasha sniffs the air and raises an eyebrow "He doesn't seem to be a demon...still, I don't trust him, I say we kill him now and ask questions later!" Inuyasha raises his sword to an attack position, ready to strike. Having reloaded the boomstick during this time, Ash readies himself.

"SIT BOY!" the girl known as Kagome hollers loudly. The necklace around Inuyasha's necklace glows bright and suddenly he crashes into the ground HARD, face first. "I don't think he's threat..." she finally says.

"Shows how much you know..." Inuyasha growls from the dirt as he struggles to get up.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Williams." Kagome says sweetly. "My name is Kagome Higurashi. You've already met Inuyasha...you'll have to forgive him, he can be a bit...stubborn at times.." Inuysha merely huffs and turns his back on Ash, dusting his red outfit off. "And these are our two travel compainions...Miroku and Sango!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah that's all nice and good Ms. Higgywhatever, but I gotta know...just where the hell am I?" Ash asked.

Kagome blushes and manages to finally say "Ohh...didn't I forget to tell you? You're...umm...in fedual Japan...hehehe...hope you don't mind..." 


	3. Chapter 2: Fistful of Boomstick

Kagome blushed and grinned sheepishly as Ash took a step back, his face a mixture of horror and shock. "W-what?" he finally managed to spit out. Again, Kagome blushed, trying to make the shock as tolerable as possible. "Yeah..umm...it seems somehow you ended up here. Thousands of years in the past."

"Damn." Ash thought to himself. "I bet when I fell through the Necronomicon's portal, it warped me here...somehow. Shouldn't be a big problem to get back...find the book, read the words, then I go home." Inuyasha snarled a bit and raised an eyebrow. He still didn't trust this Ash person and if he wasn't secretly concerned about Kagome's wrath, he would have wasted him a long time ago.

"Whoa, hold on just a second..." Ash suddenly realized something, something that didn't quite make sense. "If I'm in Feudal Whatever Japan, then how do you know what S-Mart is?"

"Well, you see, I'm actually from modern times, but one day I found this well and..."

"KAGOME!" Inuyasha interjected. "You just met this guy and all of a sudden you want to just confess every little thing we know so far? You have to be crazy!" Kagome opened her mouth to defend herself, only to have Ash cut her off. "Hey dog-breath, I think the girl can speak for herself! Maybe if you just shut your damn yapper for one damn minute..." Ash wasn't in a good mood and Fido with his red MC Hammer Pants wasn't helping his mood any.

"I don't think I asked for your opinion, now did I?" Inuyasha growled, raising his ridiculously large sword to Ash's chin. Not to back down, Ash thrusted the still running chainsaw to Inuyasha's chin, the spinning blade inches away. "I don't really give a rat's ass, buddy." he exclaimed. The two were ready to wage war on each other. The Tetsaiga versus the S-Mart WoodPro 9000 Chainsaw. And it would have happened too if Miroku hadn't stepped between the two, his voice calming and reassuring.

"Gentleman, please! This is no way to conduct ourselves." Miroku turned to Ash and smiled. "Ash, is it? Please tell us, how did you end up here in our time?" Ash scowled at Inuyasha one last moment before turning off the chainsaw for the first time since he arrived. Keeping his eye on Inuyasha, he slowly turned to face Miroku. "Long story short, I went on vacation with my girlfriend. We went to his cabin, see? And while we were there, I found this book, called the Necronomicon and through a strange twist of events, it sent me here. Warped me through some sort of portal. I'm guessing it fell here with me, though I have no idea where to even begin looking."

Miroku never heard the last bit of Ash's sentence, as soon as the word "NECRONOMICON" was uttered, his skin turned deathly pale. "Did you say Necronomicon?" he asked, his lips ashen grey. "Yeah, why?" Ash inquired. "Heard of it?" Miroku merely sat down, leaning against a nearby tree, as he sighed deeply. "I always thought it was just a rumor. Legend tells of a book bound in human flesh and written in blood. It is said that whoever posses the book has the power to resurrect demons and...to unleash Hell upon the living, whatever that means. I don't think I'd like to find out."

Kagome and Sango gasped in horror, Miroku still stared straight ahead, his face unblinking. Tired of the resulting uncomfortable silence, Inuyasha spoke up "This book can't be all that powerful! It's just a damn book, after all." Miroku merely shook his head "I'm afraid not, Inuyasha. The power of Necronomicon is much greater than anything you could ever imagine...even more powerful than the Shikon Jewel itself..."

"That can't be!" exclaimed Sango, her voice carrying worriment and dread. "What if Naraku were to get ahold of it?" The whole party seemed extremely concerned about the news Miroku has just shared, everyone that is, except for Inuyasha. "Hmmpph!" he snorted, returning the Tetsaiga to it's sheath. "I'll be damned if I'm going to believe that some stupid book is more powerful than the Shikon Jewel."

"Hey believe whatever you want, Rover," Ash snapped, "but the fact remains that the Necronomicon probably came with me to your time and if I ever wanna get home, I need to find it." "Perhaps we could be of some help?" Kagome added. "We could help each other. You help us find the Shikon Jewel shards and we'll help you find the Necronomicon."

Ash cocked an eyebrow at this inquiry. "And just how long is this going to take? And what the hell is this Shikon Jewel thingie?"

"IT WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL!" hissed an all too familiar voice. The entire party whirled around to be greeted by none other than the demon Kagura. "KAGURA!" InuYasha hollered as he charged into battle. He brought his Tetsaiga out of it's sheath and swung it at Kagura's direction. "BACKLASH WAVE!" he shouted as the sword erupted a massive wave of energy towards her. She merely smirked as the wave hit her full force, sending her flying back and crashing into a nearby house, splintering it into a thousand pieces. "That wasn't so hard...a bit too easy..." Inuysha thought out loud, keeping the Tetsaiga ready. What seemed like forever passed by, merely a minute or so, before Kagura arose from the wreckage of the house, laughing. Her voice was different, though. It was darker, more sinister. Her skin too had changed. It had dark purple veins criss crossing in jagged patterns, the skin itself a rotting grey color. Her once crimson eyes were now completely white.

"I don't know what you're up to, but you're not getting away with it!" hollered Inuyasha as he leaped in the air, ready to bring the Tetsaiga down on Kagura. Instead she merely lifted her hand up and caught Inuyasha by the neck, squeezing his wind pipe so hard, he dropped the Tetsaiga. Kagura scowled, spitting up a white gooey substance in Inuyasha's face. Miroku charged in with his staff, Sango not far behind with her Hiraikotsu, both of them attempting to save Inuyasha's life. But as soon as they were close to Kagura, rotting, decomposed hands burst through the ground, grabbing the two by their legs, pulling them into the earth.

Kagura howled with demonic laughter, her voice sounding even less like her own. "Jooinnnn usss..." she hissed as she lifted a razor sharp fan to slit Inuyasha right down the middle. All the dog demon could manage to croak was "HUGHGHUAHGHGLLALA" his vision fading, the very breath of life in him slowly fading. Kagome watched in shock, tears streaming down her face, too scared to try anything. As Kagura lifted the fan high in the air, a loud "BOOM!" rang out across the countryside, taking everyone by surprise. The fan blew out of Kagura's hands, shattering into to pieces. Furious, she dropped Inuyasha who immediately began to gasp for breath, as she searched for the source of her fury.

She found it.

Ash stood in front of her, about 10 yards from her, whisps of smoke crawling out of the double barrels of his boomstick shotgun.

"YO! SHE-BITCH!" he hollered. "LET'S GO!" 


	4. Chapter 3: Ash is Back, Baby!

Kagura snarled, her eyes completely white, which contrasted with the sickly grey tone of her skin. She hissed at Ash who had at this point reloaded the sawed off boomstick shotgun, aiming the two barrels right between her eyes.

"Now I have no idea who the hell you are, but I'm giving you one of two options here...Option A - I blow your damn head off or Option B - I chop you up into pieces, now which one is going to be, sister?" Kagura let out an earthly roar which sent chills down Kagome's back. "I'LL CRACK YOUR BONES AND DRINK THE MARROW!" Deadite Kagura roared.

Ash merely grinned. "Ohhhh I'm sorry! You forgot to phrase your answer in the form of a question!" and with a loud BOOM! Ash fired again, this time right at Kagura's chest. The mere force of the raw power of the boomstick sent her flying back several feet. Ash quickly reloaded and charged head first into battle, ready to bring his chainsaw to action. Only things didn't work out that way...

Kagura snapped to her feet, a large gaping wound in her chest with thick, black, sludge-like "blood" oozing out. "DANCE OF THE DRAGON SNAKES!" and before Ash knew it, a large tornado had sucked him up, spewing him smack dab into a tree and with a sickening "OOMPH!" He also happended to land to a struggling to his feet Inuyasha. "Not...going so well, is it?" Inuyasha said with a smirk, using the Tetsusaiga to prop himself up. Ash used his free hand to whipe the small trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "Oh right, because you're doing so well yourself, huh?" Ash snapped back. Off in the distance, his blurry vision could make out the monk guy and the hot chick in spandex with the big ass boomerang struggling to fight off the clawing Deadite hands that had sprung up from the ground.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" said Sango in a furious tone. She lurched her right arm up in the air, snapping one of the Deadite arms in half, the decaying bone cracking in twain, it still clinging to her slender wrist. Reaching behind her back, she grabbed the massive Hiraikotsu and with a loud scream of determination, swung it a full swoop slashing the wrists off all the Deadites. Now free, Miroku jumped back and undoing the prayer beads on his hand, pointed it at the now climbing from the earth Deadites. "WIND TUNNEL!" Miroku exclaimed and much to Ash's amazement, the entire group of Deadites were sucked up into what appeared to be a mini blackhole in the monk's hand.

In all the chaos, Ash had forgotten about the one named Kagura who was this point was menacingly approaching Kagome. A viscous, black, bile like substance oozed from Kagura's mouth, dripping to the ground in nauseating orbs. Kagome was frozen with terror, unable to move, her knees quaking widly. "Such pretty skin..." Kagura moaned "...GIVE IT TO US!" Before Kagome could react, Inuyasha lept into the fray, unleashing a mighty backlash wave that sent Kagura crashing through a large tree. "Is...it over?" Kagome asked, her large eyes shimmering with fear.

"IT WILL NEVER BE OVER TILL YOU DIE!" Kagura howeled, instantly lurching from laying on her back to a full upright position. Inuyasha stared on shock as a now recovered Ash made his way beside him. "How the hell do we stop her?" Inuyasha exclaimed loudly, his mind racing. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Ash's head recalling listening to Professor Knowby's notes. "Wait!" said Ash "I know how we stop her! Complete dismemberment, she's not herself. The Book of the Dead has claimed her soul and this is the only way to make sure the bitch stays dead!" Inuyasha nodded determindely, holding the Tetsusaiga aloft in the air. "Now you're talking my language! Alright Kagura, show's over. Time to call it a night." Kagura hissed and lept high in the air at Inuyasha, only to be cut off by a boomstick blast straight to the chest again. Flying back in mid-air, Inuyasha lept at her and with a loud cry, swung the Tetsusaiga slicing her down the middle at the waist. Kagome grimaced and quickly looked away, as did Sango, Miroku merely looking on in shock.

Kagura hit the ground with a sickening PLOP and howeled loudly, spitting up a fountain of black bile. Ash merely stood over her, a loaded boomstick pointed right between her eyes. Kagura eyes opened widely as she began to curse Ash, Inuyasha and the rest of the group. "YOU WILL DIE BEFORE YOU RETRIEVE THE NECRONOMICON! I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!" Ash merely shook his head and smiled. "Swallow this..." and with yet another loud BOOM, splattered her head all over the area.

There was an eery silence between the group before Ash finally cracked it. "So...uhhh...yeah...what now?" Miroku, ever the voice of reason, spoke up, offering his solution. "I suppose we had all better clean up first, perhaps find a nice hot meal? It's best to put this incident behind us. And a change of clothes for you, friend Ash." Ash looked down and for the first time noticed what sad condition his clothing was in. His khaki pants were now a deep disgusting brown, his blue button up shirt torn to shreads and soaked in blood, dirt, mud and lord knows what else.

Kagome, her eyes still shimmering with fear, but her wobbly knees had steaded a bit. Inuyasha took her up in his arms, as she clung tightly to his chest. Inuyasha merely stroked her raven black hair, not saying a word. For a split second, it seemed as if the worst was over...until Kagome gasped loudly while reaching up towards her neck.

"THE JEWEL SHARDS! THEY'RE GONE!" 


	5. Chapter 4: Have Chainsaw Will Travel

"WHAT!" said Inuyasha, wide eyed.

Kagome, in a panic, ran her hands over every square inch of her body, desperately trying to find their half of the Shikon Jewel. "I-I-I...I don't know!" she stammered. "It was around my neck like it always is...and then Kagura lunged for me..." Kagome gasped. "Quick! Go check Kagura's body!" Inuyasha wheeled around to where Ash had moments ago blasted Kagura's head off with the Boomstick, yet to their horror, her body was gone.

Instead of what should have been the blown away remains of Kagura, instead showcased a large carter, the ground scorched with what appeared to be burn marks.

"What the hell?" Ash exclaimed. "She was just here a minute ago! You saw it, right? I split her open like an over ripe melon!" Miroku furrowed his brow in worry, his face a grim display of dread. "This is not good...if Kagura had been influenced by the Necronomicon, that means Naraku must have it.."

"And this Naraku guy you keep mentioning, he's bad, right?" Ash said.

Kagome nodded slowly.

"So what's the big deal? We find Naraku, pump him full of lead, you hit him a couple of times with your over-comepnsating sword and we get the book and your jewel back." It seemed so simple to Ash.

Kagome opened her mouth to object, but she was cut off by a slow wail that quickly worked it's way louder and louder and louder, till finally it was right below her.

Ash studied the source of this noise, what appeared to be a small boy with bright reddish/orange hair, but upon closer inspection, the boy had a bushy fox tail! Ash merely shook his head...at this point nothing surprised him. The fox child jumped in Kagome's arms and from what he could tell, the child was crying, with a large bump on his head.

"K-K-Kagome..." the boy moaned, causing Kagome to brush the child's hair back and smile lovingly. "What's wrong, Shippo?" She said soothingly. Shippo looked up at Kagome's eyes and finally managed to croak "I...I tried to go into town to buy food like you asked...but this snake demon...he...he attacked me and stole the money!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Oh how wonderful!" he chimed sarcastically. "First this moron 'Ash' shows up and costs us the Shikon Jewel and now Shippo can't even defend himself against a pitiful snake demon! Do I have to do all the damn work around here?" Ash clenched his fists.

"Listen Fido, you better thank your damn lucky stars I don't have a rolled up newspaper, or so help me..."

"SIT BOY!" Kagome interrupted and once again, Inuyasha crashed into the ground with a loud thump. "There is no time for this! We have to get our money back. We're all starving and we desperately need something to eat!"

Inuyasha snarled and as he stood up, brusing the dirt off of his hakama. Ash had to smirk a bit, getting a huge kick out of the fact that this petite 15 year old girl had complete control over this loud mouth named Inuyasha.

"Who's he?" Shippo said timidly, looking at Ash. "Oh him?" said Kagome. "That's Ash. He's from my time. He wound up here thanks to some crazy book and now he's going to help us get the entire Shikon Jewel!" Ash merely nodded. "And you are?" he asked.

"I'm Shippo..." the child replied.

"Right...and you're some sort of fox creature?"

"Fox DEMON, actually..."

"Oh good, a fox demon? So that gives us a dog demon, a snake demon and now a fox demon! WONDERFUL! I'm in a damn Dungeons and Dragons game here!"

Miroku, not wanting to cause another scene, quickly interjected.

"Ash, perhaps we could work out a business arrangement? You help us retrieve our money back from the snake demon that robbed Shippo and we'll help you retrieve the Necronomicon and send you back home..."

"Look at this point I'd sit through 5 years of a Barbara Streisand concert if it means I can get home."

Miroku nodded before turning his attentions towards Shippo. "Where exactly did this snake demon go after he took your money, Shippo?" Shippo, his eyes still red from crying, spoke "He ran into the Red Dragon Inn..."

Miroku nodded. "Then that's where you shall go, Ash. Do us this favor for us and we will join you in your quest."

As Ash walked off in the distance, Sango leaned towards Miroku.

"You sent him off because you were scared of the snake demon, right?"

Miroku looked shocked.

"Why of course not, dear Sango! What would ever give you such an idea?"

Sango merely rolled her eyes.

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Wang Ono loved his job. He tried going straight as a farmer, but it never really worked out for him. Being a thief gave him such a thrill, a rush like no other. He knew he had hit jackpot seeing that fox demon. One little surprise of his snake mask and a good punch in the head and now he's sitting pretty in the "private room" of the Red Dragon Inn. Any minute now, the prostitute he had ordered from the bartender would be arriving. Almost as if his thoughts were read, he heard a gentle knock on the private room door.

Grinning devlishly, Wang stood up pressed his hear against the door. "Whooo is it?" he called out in a sing-song voice,

"Boomstick..." came the reply.

"Boomstick who?"

BOOM!

The door was blown to pieces, the force of which sent Wang flying back to the other side of the room. Before the smoke and debris could even clear a man with some sort of spinning blade for a hand stomped in and pinned him to the wall, the spinning blade inches from Wang's face.

"Now listen here ass-hole, I'm going to ask you once and only once...where is the money?"

"Wha-what money?" Wang stammered. The man was not amused. He took his spinning blade and swinging it wildy, cut a wooden pillar in the middle of the room completely in half.

"See that? That's going to be your face if you don't tell me where you took the kid's money!"

"H-here! TAKE IT!" Wang screamed, handing him the small leather sack, the coins clanging inside. The man with the spinning blade looked at the money before throwing Wang down on the ground.

"And if I ever catch you around these parts again, I'll open up a serious can of whoop ass...now go on, get the hell out of here!"

Having no clue what a "can" or what "whoop ass" even was, Wang "ran the hell" out of the Red Dragon Inn, not wanting to find out the exact meaning of these phrases.

"Time to get back into farming..." he thought to himself.

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Ash stormed out of the back room carrying the money, before a random patron cut him off at the door. "Leaving so soon, Ash?" the man said cooly and void of any and all emotion. He seemed to have a large brown hooded robe on, obscuring most of his face, except for the mouth.

"How the hell do you know my name?" Ash inquired.

The man simply smirked before grabbing Ash's neck and lifting him high off the ground, effortlessly threw him into a collection of wooden tables, splintering them into pieces, the frightened patrons running for dear life. Ash stood up slowly, slightly dizzy, as he rubbed his head, trying to gather himself quickly.

"Look buddy...I ain't exactly having the best day here and that didn't help anything at all. So tell me, are you an educated man?"

The cloaked man slowly let down his hood and stared at Ash. His eyes seemed to burn deep into Ash's soul, spooking the S-Mart Housewares Manager. The man's hair was jet black, just like everyone else's around this area.

"I know many things, Ash..." the cloaked figure said.

"Oh that's great." Ash replied. "Cause I'm about to enroll your ass in Boomstick 101!"

The man merely smirked ever so slightly.

"Such bravado, Ash. Really, it's going to be quite a shame to see you die."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...save your chit chat for when you're begging for mercy. Oh one last thing, what's your name? I want to know who I'm gonna be tearing a new one." he said, making sure this mysterious man heard the mighty roar of his S-Mart Wood-Pro 9000 Chainsaw.

The man merely raised an eye brow ever so slightly as he replied 'Naraku. My name is Naraku." 


	6. Chapter 5: Primitive Screwhead

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Naraku merely smirked at Ash, his face showing the slightest bit of a confident smirk, almost as if he didn't expect to Ash to hurt him in the slightest...like Ash was merely an annoying fly buzzing around him. A mere annoyance, nothing more. Ash could feel a slight uneasy feeling brewing deep inside of his gut, though he tried his best to hide it. Shaking off any doubts he may have had about himself at this current moment, and still smarting from being tossed across the room like a rag doll, Ash decided it'd be best to let the Chainsaw do the talking. Less talk, more action.

Letting out a battle cry of Braveheart proportions, Ash charged at Naraku, his S-Mart WoodPro 9000 poised and ready to decapitate whoever the hell this Naraku fellow was and indeed, for a split second, it looked like, to Ash at least, this was going to be a walk in the park. "This is dog boy's arch nemesis?" Ash thought. "What a pansy. Both of em'."Ash swung the mighty Chainsaw of Great Justice, as if he were the Norse god Thor, swinging his mighty Hammer of the Ages.

Except this wasn't Thor, this was Ashley (don't laugh!) J. Williams and he was about to get his ass kicked.

Naraku merely stood there, completely motionless till the chainsaw was mere a hair away from touching his skin. Instantly, he rose out his hand and extended his palm towards Ash's midsection, causing Ash, chainsaw and all, to freeze into place. Naraku carefully took a step back, adjusting his head in the process to avoid the still spinning Blade O' Justice. "What seems to be the matter, Ash?" he teased. "Lost your nerve?" Ash attempted to make a remark about Naraku's mother being of the sexual promiscuous variety, but nothing came out. Matter of face, his lips never even moved. Hell, he couldn't even twitch his eye-lids!

"Having trouble?" Naraku snarled. "Here...allow me to help." and with a push of his palm, he sent Ash rocketing back across the small tavern, crashing through a wooden pole and sending Ash THROUGH a wall and into a nearby tree. Ash hit the tree with a sickening crack, a crack he HOPED was the wood, not his ribs. He lay on the ground, motionless, attempting to grab the boomstick which had fallen out of his free hand and landed next to him. But every single muscle in his body was screaming for mercy in mind wracking pain.

Calmly and methodically, like a hungry vulture stalking a fresh kill, Naraku approached Ash, who at this point was struggling to his feet, the chainsaw having fallen off, the Boomstick being raised, albeit wobbly to face Naraku.

"Alright Naraku, no more fancy voo doo parlor tricks. I've got a fistful of angry and a head full of mad." Naraku merely shook his head.

"When will you realize your efforts are futile?" Naraku taunted. "Are you so dull you cannot see I posses the Shikon Jewel in it's entirety? And once I decode the ancient text of the Necronomicon, I shall evolve past the mere child like powers I have shown you today. I shall be the King of all Demons!"

It was at this point Ash saw a golf ball sized jewel, black as stagnant Deadite blood, entombed in the middle of Naraku's forehead. So black that no light emitted from it and no light seemed to be absorbed by it. Ash wasn't impressed. He'd seen better jewels on the Home Shopping Network.

"So you expect your hunk of glass in your forehead to impress me? EAT LEAD!" and with a loud BOOM, the Boomstick fired his Dual Shells of Justice towards the newly powered demon lord. Sighing to himself, Naraku once again held out his hand, palm facing the shot from the shells, as they began to slow down, eventually utterly and completely stopping in mid-air.

"Whoa." Ash said stunned.

"I won't kill you...yet." Naraku stated matter-of-factly. "No, indeed not. I wish to make you suffer...to experience every agonizing moment of pain in complete and utter awareness. But before I do, I want you to deliver a message for me, to Inuyasha."

Still in disbelief and what he's seeing, Ash managed to croak "...and what message is that?"

Naraku's eyes turned deep blood red, his skin a pale white/purple hybrid with dark black veins criss crossing across his face...the tell tale signs of someone possessed by the seductive evil of the Necronomicon.

"THAT I WILL SWALLOW HIS SOUL!" he growled in the deep Deadite voice Ash was becoming oh-so-familiar with.

And with a push of Naraku's hand, the shot flung back at Ash at a blinding speed and sank deep into the tender flesh of Ash's right thigh. Ash howled in pain and his knees buckled from the blinding pain, causing him to collapse on the ground. The fresh wound oozed and splurged blood on the soft red earth of the ground.

Mad with fury and pain, Ash drug himself over the ground in a vain attempt to get the Boomstick, reload it and hopefully and extract revenge on Naraku. Naraku, sensing this, kicked the Boomstick away from Ash and delivering a swift kick to Ash's mid-section, sending the air rushing out of Ash's lungs. Rolling on to his back, Ash attempted to stand up one last time, but instead...he passed out. 


End file.
